Big [Reiner/Reader]

Thump, thump. The deep, rhythmic pounding of volleyballs in the gym were like your own personal therapist. When you were on the court, nothing could touch you. Bump, set, spike, bump, set, spike. It even helped alleviate one of your worst personal insecurities. All of the girls on the volleyball team deviated from the norm for the most part, and it made you feel a lot more… normal.

You were probably heavier than most of them, but those thoughts were for after practice. After practice was when you thought about the stubborn pinch of fat, you swore it was fat, on your stomach. And your thunder thighs. No matter how many miles you ran, or crunches you did, you still were just… Big everywhere. You were here at this college because of volleyball and you were still just so… Big.

Everyday at practice you tried so hard and you were fit, at most. You could run the mile without getting out of breathe, do wall sits for days, and crunches for hours, but you were still fat. There were words, of course, for your state. The kind words, the polite words, favored by close friends and family. Those words included Amazonian and zaftig, big boned and curvy. During volleyball, your height and muscles were prized and something you could be proud of. But off the court? Not so much.

The truth was was that no matter how hard you tried to love your body, it was difficult. And there was one more thing, one more special, awful, secret thing... When you were a little girl, back before you knew you were going to be… Big, what you wanted more than anything was… A prince. Someone to sweep you up in his arms and carry you into the sunset. Except now no one could carry you and no one probably even wanted to carry you. Your body had fucked up your already unrealistic expectations in life. That wasn’t fair.

Well, there was one guy. There was one guy in the school who could most likely carry you. And that was Reiner Braun. There was only one problem. He was kind of a jackass. Sure he was tall and large and physically attractive but on the inside? His name alone made it obvious that he didn’t get to be the brains. And hell, you knew that you weren’t the smartest but you still wanted someone to have a decent conversation with.

“He is smart!” You friend Christa urged you, “He’s majoring in something to do with math! I don’t remember how or what kind of math but math!” She’d hopped on this train the second that you’d pointed out he was really your only potential, and being friends with you and at least semi-friends with Reiner; she would not sleep until you two were pushed together somehow.

You looked at your naked wrist before asking wryly, “Is it six yet? I really hope it’s six.” Six was when Ymir got out of soccer and would whisk the little blonde girl away. Christa gave you a look that was just about as mad as she could get, which meant it looked kind of like an angry pout, as you took out your phone and confirmed no, there were still a few minutes to go.

Christa gave an exasperated sigh, “Why don’t you just give him a shot, [First]? What’s the worst that can happen?” Your mouth twisted into a grimace at those words. What’s the worst that could happen? The worst thing that could happen was that he could laugh. He could confirm the fact that he never goes after fatties like you, preferring much smaller, thinner girls, like Christa herself. The worst that could happen was him shooting your already precarious self-esteem. Taking away the hope forever that someone could be your prince and crushing your childhood dream.

Instead, you gave Christa the ‘tough’ response. “The worst thing that could happen is I lose an hour of my life and a precious number of brain cells.” You shifted your gaze back towards the locker room and there, lo and behold, there was your savior.

You had hoped that Ymir showing up would be the end to this awful, awful saga of Christa Lenz plays the Match Maker, but when the tall, slightly damp girl stopped in front of the two of you, she couldn’t help but ask “What was that?” Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. The little blonde devil in front of you could get Ymir to agree to any endless number of things and you didn’t know if you could survive her if Ymir gave her approval.

Before you could open your mouth to say two words, Christa had already piped up with, “[First] should go on a date with Reiner!” Ymir looked at her blandly for a moment before shifting her gaze to you. You silently awaited her judgement like a prisoner at trial. She looked up in the sky and then back down.

Finally, she looked you in the eyes again and shrugged one shoulder, “Why not.” It didn’t sound like she really cared too much about the idea but this was a death sentence for you. The fact that Ymir approved meant basically Christa had free reign to do whatever she wanted and inflict all manner of torture until you gave in.

“Alright! So it’s on then! You two go on a date!” She was clearly already running the victory lap. You had two options then. Appeal to Christa or appeal to Ymir. The appeal to Ymir would comprise the fact that if Christa succeeded in this, she’d most likely go off a tangent, trying to set everybody and his brother up. The probable success rate of this wasn’t high. Ymir honestly very rarely cared about things that didn’t have to do with her or Christa, and points were deducted for the fact that it’d probably make Christa happy.

That left you with logically appealing to Christa. “Alright, fine. But, there are so many holes in this,” you started, using big hand gestures both to show your exasperation and to get it through Christa’s tiny, thick skull. “First of all, Reiner and I don’t even really like each other. Second of all, I’m sure I’m not his type. And…” You faltered. The third reason was that you didn’t want to put your damn heart on the line but hell if you were going to tell them that.

As soon as Christa shook her head, you knew you were through. She probably stopped listening after “Alright, fine.”  She smirked at you, that little demon smirked at you! And replied, “Give me a week.” It took her four days.

On Friday when you exited the gym to meet up with Christa, she was standing there with the biggest grin on her face and right then and there is when you knew you were screwed. You tried walking slower and slower to her but the destination was inevitable. She was almost bouncing by the time you got there and on the upswing, she poked you in the shoulder, with every poke she accentuated a word. “Morrison’s. Steak. House. Eight. Oh. Clock!”

You couldn’t believe this. It seemed that you arrived a little later than normal because mere seconds after Christa delivered her news, Ymir showed up, whisking the small blonde away. Turning over her shoulder she yelled back, “Wear something nice!” Leaving you to groan as you slinked dejectedly back to your dorm.

Something nice? Something NICE? Was she joking? Morrison’s was ridiculously upscale and why, or how, she got Reiner to take you there was completely beyond you. Staring at the few ‘nice’ dresses you had in your closet, you wondered if you should even show up at all. What if it was a prank. What if he’d gotten the idea into his enormous head that you were in love with him and turned up just to turn you down? How embarrassing would that be!

There was only one direction this so called ‘date’ was going in and that was straight to hell. But you couldn’t just stand him up… You were a lot of things but rude was not one of them. Often. So no, you were going to show up to that damn date looking fucking fine and you were going to eat an expensive meal and make him pay for it if it went badly. Sounded good to you.

At approximately 8:10 you finally showed up to Morrison’s. It wasn’t some sort of test or anything, you just suffered with chronic lateness. When you arrived, the snooty, upscale waiter pointed you in the direction of Reiner. He was dressed in slacks, a button-up shirt, and a tie. He didn’t look half bad, you thought appreciatively, even though a less refined part of you was really upset you couldn’t see his muscles through those clothes.

In a shocking show of chivalry, Reiner stood up and pulled the chair out for you.  You gave him a quick look before accepting your seat. He pushed the chair in right up to your stomach, with ease it seemed due to the fact that you had to put your hands out in front of you to stop your poor belly from getting crushed. “Sorry.”

He started, sitting across from you. “I guess I don’t know my own strength sometimes.” Well he already had a point in his favor, surprisingly. The chivalry of course, not the strength. Maybe both.

The next few minutes were spent making eyes at the menus. The food at Morrison’s sounded so good… And expensive. Holy hell. Even the picture of the steak made your mouth water at the sight. However, you settled on a cobb salad. It was relatively cheap and probably what Reiner expected of you anyway. You placed your menu down when you’d decided and luckily, the waiter was right over, sparing you the ‘small talk’.

The waiter asked for your order first and as refined as you could, you asked for the cobb salad. “Oh come on.” Came the voice from opposite you. Your surprised and vaguely offended gaze met his. “Look. I wager you’re a girl who likes food. I didn’t drag your ass all the way here to get a salad, I’m sorry,” he said to the waiter, “that is overpriced for what it is and half as delicious as say, one of these steaks.” He sat back in his chair, bringing it home with, “You don’t have to impress me or anything. Get what you want. In fact, I’ll have a sixteen ounce and she’ll have an ten. If you like steak that is. That might be a little big for you but leftovers are awesome.”

Your eyes were wide in utter shock and all you could do was nod, yes, an ten ounce steak sounded positively delicious. You were still staring at Reiner when you handed the waiter your menu. Reiner shifted under your gaze and put his hands up for a moment, “I just thought that seeing as Christa dragged you here too, we should at least have a good time. That’s why I suggested here in the first place. The food’s great and it’s not often I have an excuse to go or a pretty girl to go with.”

Slowly but surely, your mind was wrapping around his words. You finally settled on three, “I appreciate it.” You hoped like hell that those came out as slow, calm, and even-tempered as you willed them to be, and not at all like how you felt. By all means, this wasn’t the first time you’d had guys order for you, not at all.

But it was the first time that the guy wasn’t a complete and utter asshole. In fact, normally it was the opposite. You’d make the delicious choice and they’d override you, suggesting a salad instead. Those were the dates you’d split the check and then split. If you were going to feel shitty about your body, you were going to do it on your own terms.

With nothing to ease the silence, you turned to conversation. “So,” you started with a quirked eyebrow, “How did Christa rope you into this?” It was a valid question, and seeing as you had another hour to go on this date, most likely, you’d better start conversing. To be honest, you were also kind of curious. It’d taken her four days to get him in on this. Four days? Christa was small and probably the least intimidating girl you’d ever met in your life. What could she possibly have done to this behemoth? Blackmail, maybe?

Reiner barked a loud laugh and leaned forward once more, resting his elbows on the table. “She just insisted, honestly.” When you gave him a skeptical look, he continued, “You know Christa. If she starts on it one day and she’s still going by the next, you really have no choice. Besides, on the whole list of things she’ll probably ask me to do at some point, going on a date? Not bad at all.” Well wasn’t that just inspiring to your confidence. “And you?”

Your mind rushed back to the conversations you’d had with her. Well, to be honest, you hadn’t really put up much of a fight at all. Huh… Well you weren’t going to tell him that. Giving a small, tight smile, you replied with the only thing you could think of, “Yeah, same.” Reiner seemed satisfied with the answer. Your curiosity had been piqued though, “How hard did you fight her on it?” Maybe it wasn’t a fair question. After all, you weren’t expecting feelings or anything here. On both ends. But you were curious nonetheless.

His brows rose for a moment, giving you a slightly surprised, slightly amused look. He waited a second before he answered, shrugging nonchalantly before answering, “Not hard.” When he grinned he looked almost predatory, his full set of teeth on display. “I’d have said yes the first day but I didn’t want her going blabbing to everyone. Man’s gotta have his pride you know.” Well. This was certainly a deviation in how you expected the night to go. Your mouth rounded into a little ‘o’.

He shrugged a shoulder again before giving you that grin and telling you, “Don’t sell yourself short” in a small conspiratorial way. You weren’t quite sure how to feel about all of this. You sat back in your seat and crossed your legs in order to distance yourself from this incredibly oddness that was going on during this date. Maybe… Just maybe… You should give this giant a chance.

Crossing and uncrossing your legs, you leaned forward, “What do you major in again?” This was small talk, it just also so happened that this was pretty important to you. What major could you even imagine him in, before this situation, that is? Football. That’s about all that you could think of. Even sports management had seemed a little too intellectual.

Reiner gave a little hmm at the odd change of topic but answered the question nonetheless. “Finance with a minor in risk management.” Well. Good answer, to say the least. “And yourself?” Shortly after he asked, he gave a small bark of a laugh, “I’m probably going to ask that after every question you ask me, so you should probably just get used to it.” As weird as it was, you didn’t mind too much.

“Counseling Psychology.” You informed him, taking another sip of your drink. Honestly, you were pretty proud of your major. It was not only something that was immensely interesting to you, but you could help people at the same time.

Giving a slow nod, Reiner gave you that same damn grin and asked, “Does that mean I can tell you all my problems?” You gave him a half amused and half skeptical look. Maybe you were wrong but you felt like there was some sort of play coming off this. Although again, not sure you minded.

Slowly and carefully, perhaps a little flirty, you replied, “I suppose so,” but before he could launch into whatever he was going to, the food arrived. Your plates were sat down in front of you and Reiner gave you a wink before digging into his own dish. You blinked before digging into yours.

Holy fuck this was good. You closed your eyes and tilted your head back. It was juicy and delicious and damn, how long had it been since you’d had a meal this good? Your tongue darted out to catch some of the juice that’d been left on your lips and all of a sudden there was a commotion from the other side of the table. Your eyes shot open to see Reiner coughing into his sleeve. Face twisting into a grimace, you put your hand on his other arm, “Are you alright?”

When he recovered shortly thereafter he nodded, “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” His gaze wandered down to your hand on his arm which you, so carelessly, had not removed. His eyes darted to your face and in the next heartbeat you removed your hand like his arm was burning. That wasn’t weird at all. Looking into his intense eyes, you almost bit your lip. Luckily, you caught yourself before that could happen. Thank God, you did want to make it through dinner.

The rest of the dinner passed fairly uneventfully, with spats of meaningful conversations and intense gazes exchanged. As you both moved to leave, you had let him pay the bill, you noticed him wince as he stood. He placed a hand on his lower back before pushing his chair in. “Are you alright?” You couldn’t help but ask, he was in pain for god’s sake.

After taking a moment to stretch just a little bit he nodded, “I just pulled something in football.” Through all this time, you’d almost forgotten he played. It was becoming less and less of a forthcoming factor in how you felt about him. You nodded understandingly, as the two of you moved towards the door. “Yeah, I’m too old for this shit.”

You turned to glance at him with an interested expression. “Lethal Weapon?” You studied his face curiously, but you were looking back and almost bumped into an oncoming table. His hand slipped around your waist as he lead you through the tables, commandeering some of your attention and making you suppress a shiver at his warm touch.

When you made it through and out the door he replied, “Of course. They’re my favorite movies.” This garnered a smile from you while he exchanged words with the valet. This was… Too good to be true. The whole night. You shared a favorite movie? What were the odds? He turned back to you in favor of a more serious topic, “Did you drive here?”

Shaking your head you replied, “No, I walked.” Who drove in the city anyway? Well apparently Reiner did. You did have to admit that it was a bit chilly outside and you wouldn’t really mind a ride, but you weren’t going to ask for it. That’d be a little too friendly for how far you were prepared to go tonight. But if he asked well… You wouldn’t say no.

“I’ll drive you home.” It wasn’t quite the same as asking but it would work nonetheless. You nodded your consent as the car came around and ever the gentlemen, he opened the door for her before rounding the car for the driving seat. The car was warm and comfortable, much better than you expected, somewhat like the entire night.

Once you were settled in the seat, Reiner turned his eye back on you for a moment. “Which one is your favorite?” He asked with a large hint of humor in his voice. It seemed that humor was almost ever present. You liked that.

However your mind had wandered and you made a small “Hmm?” at his question. He chuckled goodnaturedly. “The movies. Lethal Weapon.” He reminded you gently, “Which one is your favorite? And if you say three or four I’m kicking you out of this car right now.” There was a joke in his voice and you laughed before you answered the question.

The car ride was filled with warm conversation and humor. It was like you were in a cozy blanket, warm and comfortable and surrounded. You felt nervous and at ease all at once to the point where you were damn disappointed when you pulled to a stop in front of your dorm room. Mostly though you were a little nervous.  What happened now?

God you didn’t want to say it, but you’d had such a good time. Yeah, it was all a stupid set up but did that matter now? You had to admit it, you were definitely feeling it. You didn’t want to tell Christa she was right, but it seemed that the good that could come of it far outweighed the bad. Did he have a good time though? It seemed like it, but what if you were wrong? To say the very least, it would suck if you never saw or talked to him again.

The two of you turned to each other and Reiner’s warm, good humored smile was gone. Instead, dare you say, he looked nervous? His arm was thrown over the back of your seat as he leaned in just a little. “I think this is the time where you say, ‘I had a nice time tonight’ and get out of the car.” His voice was low and quiet.

Oh. Should you be offended? Apparently he hadn’t had the good time you’d had. Turning, you reached for the handle but before you could reach it, he started again. “Or…” He trailed, prompting you to look back at him. “If you would want to do this again, you stay for another minute.” Oh. You shifted in your seat towards him, trying to make it clear that you were staying. Your cheeks were flaming and your heart was hammering and you couldn’t wait for what came next.

“And that…” He murmured as he leaned closer, his voice dropping to an intimate volume, “Gives me the courage to do what I’m about to.” His hand found your cheek and his gaze dropping from your eyes to your lips, pressing his against yours. Oh yes. You pressed back against him, tilting your head and he pressed further. What was meant to be a chaste kiss gained heat with a startling velocity and when it broke off you were flustered with pleasure.

When your eyes met Reiner’s again, his were intense and his breathing was deep. a shiver ran down your back while your mind was still too muddled to do anything other than express awe. “We should get you inside.” He was just as breathless as you were and that made you lick your lips. Made you want to take him by the mouth again… Finally, your mind came back to you and you pulled back from your close proximity before you couldn’t help yourself.

Nodding, you replied, “Yeah… Yeah.” It was time to go home for the night before you did much more than kiss on the first date. Reiner came around and opened your door for you, and then watched you walk to your door. It was his way of preventing a good night kiss on the doorstep. On the way to your door, you touched your lips.

They still tingled with leftover passion and… leftover joy.